Keep Dreamin
by MiLoV
Summary: chapt. 15! COMPLETE!
1. Default Chapter

Part 1: Are Memories Suppose to Hurt This Bad?  
  
" Are wu still awake?"  
  
At the sound of Lori's voice, Jess Mariano quickly sat up. "Yeah I'm  
up...can I get you somethin?" He was still half asleep obviously.  
  
"I can't sweep" The 5 year old whinned.  
  
"Oh ok...come over here and lay down and tell me what's up..."  
  
She came over and layed down beside him...but as soon as she layed down  
she fell fast asleep causing Jess to smile at her. He admired her  
features. "She looks so much like..... Stop it Mariano...just stop  
it...." But he couldn't help it...a dam of memories broke, flooding into  
his mind......he remembered the first time that he met Rory.He couldn't  
believe the beauty his eyes had befallen upon. He knew he was in love  
with her right then.  
  
* * *  
  
"hey!"  
  
"hey.."  
  
"i'm rory."  
  
"yeah i figured"  
  
"nice to meet you."  
  
"Wow aren't we hooked on phonics."  
  
" yeah I read alot. do you read?"  
  
"not much."  
  
"ya know I could loan ya that. it's really good."  
  
"no thanks."  
  
* * *  
  
"you bought a copy?? I told you I'd lend you mine!"  
  
"It is yours."  
  
"you stole my book...."  
  
"no. borrowed it..."  
  
"ok that's not called a trick that's a feliny."  
  
"I just wanted to put some notes in the margins for ya."  
  
"you've read this before..."  
  
"about 40 times...."  
  
"I thought you said you didn't read much..."  
  
"Well...what is 'much'?  
* * *  
"Are you still with dean?.....come on Rory Yes or No are you still with  
dean!"  
"Yes! I'm still with Dean, Yes."  
"Glad to hear it."  
"Glad to tell ya."  
"See ya around."  
"Whatever."  
* * *  
"He was right about......all of it......"  
  
"So....what now...??"  
  
" are you definitely broken up with Dean?"  
  
"Yeah I'm definitely broken up with Dean...."  
  
"Ok...there's something I got to take care of then...."  
  
* * *  
Jess couldn't help but think how badly he must have hurt Rory the night  
that he just left her. What was he thinking....yeah...she had hurt  
him....but...that was no reason to leave her.... They could have worked  
it out....." you should have let her give you an explanation!!! You're  
such an  
  
idiot!" Jess realized he was talking outloud and Lori was sound asleep  
next to him, he decided to go take a walk. He got up, got dressed, and  
walked out the door.....and of course...his feet lead him straight to the  
bridge,the Stars Hollow bridge where he and Rory used to spend their  
  
afternoons and evenings together. He had overreacted and he knew it....he  
wanted to kill himself.....if only this bridge stood a little higher from  
the ground....he could just........... jump.......and end his  
misery......but....alas he thought of Lori.....he couldn't just leave  
her....abandon her..... " Lori mimicks her mother's appearance to a  
perfect point!! Was she here just to torment me?!? To be my reminder  
every single day of what I had done!!!!????!!!!! A mini Rory!!??!!" Jess  
found himself yelling and screaming at the top of his lungs and then he  
fell  
  
to his knees pleading with God to let the love of his life come out of  
this terrible coma she was put in. Luke, just like most of the town,  
heard Jess and went to him telling his wife Lorelai, who could sleep  
through a hurricane, where he was going......"Jess?...Jess? Is that you?"  
Luke asked into the dark only hearing whimpering...then he saw a dark  
figure who's shoulder's were shaking  
  
violently. "Jess...." As soon as he said his name this last time Jess got  
up and ran to Luke and just hugged him crying his heart out. Jess didn't  
cry much...but this had been building up inside of him for so long....he  
just....couldn't keep it in any longer. Luke comforted his nephew. He had  
been angry with him for hurting Rory but then he saw how sorry Jess was  
and just could't be angry with him anymore. After about 20 minutes of  
crying Jess stepped out of Luke's arms and Jess just looked at him.  
Jess's face was read and his eyes were puffy, tears were dancing in his  
eyes willing themselves to fall. And then Jess spoke with a shaky  
voice."Luke...why do memories have to hurt so much?? I loved her  
Luke....I LOVE her...." And Jess continued to cry and Luke pulled him  
back into a hug and Jess cried into his shoulder once again. 


	2. The Memory That Brings Us To Now

Author's Note: you guys are awesome!!! Thanks for the reviews! You really  
boosted my self-esteem! And you will find out what's goin on with Rory  
soon. This is just one of those stories where you have to wait and find  
out what the first chapter has to do with anything, k? Sorry you have to  
wait but it'll be worth it....I hope :) I hope you like this next  
chapter!!  
Disclaimer: I own nuthin...I'm a poor little girl...how sad...I would  
really like to own Milo!!! If he's for sale let me know!  
On with the Show!  
  
Jess couldn't help but remember the day that Rory and he had had the  
biggest fight of their lives.  
  
* * *  
"Jess!! It was an accident!!! He forced me into it!! I didn't have a  
choice!!!!"  
  
"BULL!!!! You didn't have to kiss him back Rory!!! And you know it!!"  
  
"Jess!! I didn't kiss him back!!!"  
  
"I'm sure you and Dean will be VERY happy together!!"  
  
"Jess please let me explain!! No Jess don't leave me here!! JESS!!!!!" He  
just kept walking, never turning back. "JESS!!! JESS!!!! JESS!!  
NOOO!!!!!! JESS!!!! Hel-" Dean cut her off by putting his hand over her  
mouth. He began kissing her. She tried to get away but there was no way  
out. Dean was so much stronger than she was. She couldn't yell for help,  
he had put duct tape over her mouth, she could barely breathe....she  
couldn't believe what he was doing to her. He raped her but before he did  
he held his knife to her face and cut the corner of her mouth. It bleed  
forcefully. He kicked her, he punched her. He beat her half to  
death...but no one was home, Jess was gone, and she had no way of getting  
away from Dean.  
  
After that night, Jess had left for New York and Rory and Dean became a  
couple. It wasn't by choice. Dean forced her to. He would beat her all  
the time and rape her and make her promise not to tell ANYONE...and if  
she did....she would suffer the consequences. About a 1 and a half years  
after that had been dating, Rory found out that she was pregnant. They  
went out for 2 years before Dean asked her to marry him, it was mainly  
because of the baby...and once again he forced her into it.....Jess did  
not receive an invitation because Dean was too afraid that he might steal  
Rory away from him......Dean was obsessed over Rory. Yet he didn't do  
anything to make her happy like most guys would have done for someone  
they loved.  
Almost 5 Years Later........  
  
Rory and Dean have been married for almost 5 years now obviously Rory  
wanted to leave but couldn't...she endured beating after beating. Their  
almost 5 year old daughter, Lori, hated seeing her mother like  
this....but she couldn't talk to her daddy for fear of what he might do  
to her.....  
"Shut up Rory!!!" Dean yelled as he punched Rory causing her to fall to  
the  
  
floor, crying.  
  
"Dean I didn't mean anything by it...." Rory said weakly.  
  
"Whatever!!" Yelled dean as he walked out the door infuriated at his  
wife. Just then Lori walked over to her mother and hugged her, feeling  
the pain that Rory felt. "Mommy, I'm sowy...."  
  
"Oh hunny...did you see all that?" Rory asked weakly and Lori just shook  
her head. "Hun he's just a little upset...he'll cool off....don't worry  
babe."  
  
"Mommy-"  
  
"Lori...."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Go pack your bags......."  
  
"Wh-why?"  
  
"We're going to New York." They packed their bags and got in the car.  
Rory left a note to Dean saying that they would be back in a week or two.  
As soon as they got in the car, Lori asked a question that not even Rory  
could answer.  
  
"Mommy? Where are we going in New Work?"  
  
"Uhhh.....well....I guess we'll stay in a hotel or somethin and  
just......I don't know...do girl stuff...."  
  
"Otay..."  
  
So they got to New York and checked into a hotel. After they got into their room they decided to get changed and hit the town.  
  
"Mommy can we stop in dat book stow??"  
  
"you read my mind, Lor!" They stepped inside the store each one looking intently at all the books. this had to be the largest book store they had ever seen!! they were both so excited. Lori loves books just as much as her mother does.  
  
"mommy this place is so cool!" Lori was pretty advanced for her age and she was already reading some juvenille books that usually 8 or 9 year olds read.  
  
"I'm goin over here...don't get too far away from me ok?"  
  
"Yes mommy...I'll be over here..."  
  
"ok..." and at that they both went their separate ways. Lori went over the juvenille section and Rory went over to the classics. As she was skimming over them she ran across A Farewell To Arms. She all of a sudden remembered Jess and his obsession with Hemmingway.  
  
* * *  
  
"You know Earnest only has lovely things to say about you."  
  
"Why are you only nice to me?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I mean like an hour ago you were totally screwing with Dean and now you are  
  
being totally nice to me..."  
  
"See...the whole screwing with Dean got me a chance to be here and be nice  
  
to you...."  
  
"So it WAS a plan...."  
  
"Ok I'm officially starving"  
  
"And officially evasive..."  
  
* * *  
  
Her eyes moved on and she randomly selected a book and of course....Oliver Twist.......  
  
* * *  
  
"...goodnight rory....."  
  
"goodnight dodger."  
  
"dodger?"  
  
"figure it out...."  
  
"............oliver twist.........."  
  
* * *  
  
"Ok what is this!! a stroll down memory lane!!! JEEZ!!!" Rory realized that she was still in the bookstore and that she was practically yelling....so she kind of hid her face and put down the book and scanned for another book. Just then someone came up behind her. it was the lady who owned the store, she was very nice and her name was Alice. she recommended a book called "I Still Love You the Girl From Mars" so Rory decided to check it out....she sat down in one of the many chairs in the store and began to read.  
  
"This story is dedicated to the love of my life who I never gave a chance." "Do you believe in love at first sight? Well I do...I remember the day I met the love of my life. She was all I thought about....she invaded my thoughts, my dreams, even the books I read....it was almost annoying." So Rory began reading and she just kept reading and reading not wanting to put the book down. Then Alice came up to her and told her it was closing time so Rory found Lori and they left. "Mommy?" "Yeah hun?" "When are we goin back to Hawtford?" "Oh...um...i don't know...probably in like two weeks or something.." "Why so wong?" "Just thought we could use a LOT of girl time....." "Otay." Lori was too young to really understand what was happening but she figured her mommy needed some time away from her daddy. So they drove back to their hotel room and decided that they should just go ahead and get some sleep, they had a big day tomarrow...even though they had no idea what they were going to do..... They woke up the next day and got ready to go hit Manhattan......but as soon as they were about to head out the door....Rory's cell phone rang......she picked it up not bothering to look at the caller ID..."hello?.....Dean....." 


	3. I Thought You Would Have Forgiven Me By ...

A/N- hey I thought I'd repost this chapter so it would be easier to read:) i'm really sorry about the format. Please forgive me! My computer screws up every now and then! So please bare with me!  
  
"RORY! WHERE ARE YOU!!!!"  
  
"Dean....I'm just taking a little vacation with my daughter..."  
  
"OUR daughter!! Why did you go without me?"  
  
"Dean I gotta go..sorry." And with that she hung up on Dean Forrester for the first time in her life. She felt good....after that she took her daughter out to breakfast and then they went back to that same book store. When they got there Rory found that book , "I Still Love You the Girl From Mars" and continued reading....she thought the story sounded so fimiliar she thought she must have read it before...but she just kept on reading. Finally after about and hour she finished the book...it was one of the best books she had EVER read....and that was sayin alot.....but she looked for the author's name and all it said was D.J.D. She had never heard of that one before...well she decided to buy the book.  
  
"Hey! Lori!" Rory was searching for her little girl in the many aisles of books. She finally found her, "Hey hun...you ready? Did you pick yourself out a book??" Lori nodded and they went to purchase their books.  
  
They weren't exactly sure where they were going to go next.....but they continued to walk. "How bout the music store?" They both agreed and kept walking....but as they were walking Rory accidentally dropped her bag with the books in it.....someone bumped into her. She looked up to apologize...."I'm-Jess..."  
  
"really my name is Jess too...wait....Rory? What are you doing here?"  
  
"Jess...."  
  
"I'm very aware of my name thanks."  
  
"Wha-why....Jess....hi..."  
  
"Hey....."  
  
"You wanna get some...coffee or something....." (A/N:Lori had run into the music store that was right next to where Rory and Jess were having this encounter.)  
  
"I don't think so." He said it very coldly and Rory remembered....  
  
"Jess! I thought you would have forgiven me by now!!!" She all of a sudden had this outburst and he couldn't really tell where it was comming from....but Rory knew why....it was because he had left her with Dean...even though Jess was mad, she thought he would have protected her....but he didn't....  
  
"What?" He let out a cold laugh "Rory!! Come on!! You broke MY heart when I saw you kiss bag boy!!!!!! You think i'm just gonna forget and act like nothing happened!!!!"  
  
"N-no...but...Jess...I didn't.....I didn't...."  
  
"Look! I've already heard!!! 'I didn't mean to kiss him!' Whatever Rory!! How can you just 'accidentally' kiss someone!!!!" They were now getting a crowd because of the yelling.  
  
"Jess!!! From where YOU were standing i'm sure it looked like I kissed him back!! But if you had just....if you had just looked a little closer you would have seen that I was TRYING TO PUSH HIM AWAY!!!!! But he's a lot stronger than me!!! You know that!!!" By this time she was crying...  
  
"Rory!! I don't even care anymore!! Ok!! It happened!! I'm over IT and I'm wwaaayyyyy over YOU!!!" He said this....but he knew that it wasn't true....he was constantly thinking about her....he couldn't help but love her....but he couldn't let her see....then he looked down and saw her left hand.....it had two rings on it and he could only guess that they were wedding rings..."so...you got married I see!" She looked down..."is it bag boy!!!??!!!" She continued to look down..."come on Rory!! Yes or no!!! Is it Dean!!!"  
  
"YES! It's Dean ok!!! But it's not like I wanted to!!!" The words just slipped right out of her mouth...she was stunned that she had let it slip...to him....of all people...someone she hadn't seen in 5 years!!!! She couldn't believe herself!!!  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Uhh..." She stuttered trying to figure out something that she could say....then Lori came running out of the store.  
  
"Mommy!!! They have Metallica!!!!! Can I get it, can I get it!!!!??!!!!" Rory just looked down realizing that Jess didn't know that she had a daughter....Lori just looked up at Jess with a confused look on her face and she saw the tears that had been streaming down Rory's. She glared up at Jess with that "cute" 5 year old glare..."what did you do! Mommy aweady gets hurt by daddy!!! Why are you hurting her too!!!" Rory just stood there, the tears streaming down her face had come to a complete stop as she looked at her daughter not believing that she just told Jess...Jess Mariano that she was getting beat up by the guy who he hated most in the world.  
  
Jess stood there stunned....he couldn't believe what he just heard either....."Rory...."  
  
Rory snapped out of her trance "Yeah?" She knew what he was going to ask but she wanted to avoid it. All she could do is look at Lori who had no idea what she said wrong.  
  
"Rory....first of all....who is this" he pointed in Lori's direction not taking his eyes off Rory who was not taking her eyes off Lori, ".....and.....and what did she mean by Dean hurting you...."  
  
"Huh?" She asked finally looking back into those beautiful chocolate brown eyes which could have just melted her into a massive puddle right then and there...."oh....uhh...she is my daughter, Lori...Lori this is Je-I mean....Mr. Mariano......" Jess stuck out his hand for her to give him a low five and Lori responded with a weird look on her face...."Hun...Mr. Mariano wasn't being mean to me...ok?"  
  
"Otay...." She smiled up at him and gave him the low five he had been looking for.  
  
"Lor can you go back into the music store for a sec....I'll be in there in a bit..." She skipped back in with not a care in the world.  
  
"Rory tell me what she meant!" He kind of yelled a little louder and harsher than he meant to causing tears to well up in her eyes once again. Jess looked around realizing that people were beginning to gather again, "THIS ISN'T A SHOW!!!!! DON'T YA HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO THAN TO JUST STAND AROUND AND WATCH SOMEBODY CRY!!! GET LOST!!!!"  
  
Rory just looked around at the people that were moving away slowly, Jess's eyes getting bigger and madder the slower they were moving. "Jess....it was nothing....she doesn't know what she's talking about..she's a little over 4 and a half.....she rambles just like me..." Rory was now getting a little choked up and Jess could tell but he wasn't gonna just let her leave without telling him what was going on....  
  
"Ror....I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier...I just......you broke my heart...."  
  
All of a sudden Rory looked up into his eyes...her eyes now ice cold to match her voice, "do you REALLY think that I would kiss Dean? Do you really think that I don't wish I was stronger so that I could handle what he did to me that night?" Her voice was slowly but surely rising making Jess a little uneasy...but he realized something in his uneasiness.....  
  
"WHAT did he do to you WHICH night?" Figuring it was the night he saw her with Dean almost 5 years ago...but...he still didn't understand what she meant.....  
  
Her voice was still hard and cold, "well do you?...." He just looked at her.... "Forget it! Lori!" She called into the music store as Lori ran out to her mother, "we need to go" her eyes just glared at Jess as she remembered how he left her....with....with....him.....they began to walk off not even saying goodbye to Jess.  
  
"Rory wait!!" Jess yelled as he caught up with her he grabbed her wrist to whirl her around, "Rory stop!" She winced and it did not go unnoticed by Jess and he looked down as her sleeve came up slightly....there was a bruise....it looked like someone had grabbed her wrists very tightly....then he snapped his head up knowing what had happened..."RORY! Why do you let him do this to you!!!!!"  
  
"You don't even care!! You just let me in on that 10 minutes ago!! Remember!!!??!!!" Her tone was harsh and cruel just as Jess's had been the night he saw her with Dean. He let go of her arm and she whirled back around and left, dragging her daughter by the arm as Lori looked back at the stunned Jess....  
  
He felt his knees begin to give out beneath him so he sat down at the nearsest bench, which lucky for him was right next to him. He felt horrible...she thought that he hated her...he, at one time tried to convince himself that he did, but now....he realized that he didn't....and that he missed her terribly...but now she had Frankenstein....but then he realized that she wasn't happy with Dean....that the guy hurt her....hurt his precious Rory.....it all hit him at once and his rage came out at full force!  
  
He stood up, his knees now too afraid to shake for fear of what Jess would do. He was in a blind rage! He was walking up and down the streets yelling at himself for letting her go!! He didn't know where she lived or how he could reach her!!! He then remembered that she owned a cell phone so he found a pay phone and dialed a familiar number. But the number had expired and she had gotten a new number....So he began walking in the direction that Rory and Lori went hoping and praying that he could find them.  
  
MEANWHILE....  
  
They walked quickly and they didn't speak. They neared the hotel. (They didn't have much money so they couldn't get a great hotel.....it was in pretty bad part of town.) Finally Lori couldn't take the silence any longer and began to speak. "Mommy??"  
  
"Hmm??" Rory seemed in an angry rage until her daughter spoke...  
  
"I was just wandewing why we are walking so fast and ignowing that man back at the music store...."  
  
"Because....i don't want to talk to him.....and I just....hun....we have history....and...i just don't want to talk about it......" So they kept walking and almost as soon as they got to their hotel a car drove by and and the music was really loud and you could hear the words and almost every other word was a bad word so she covered her daughter's ears and put her on the other side of her away from the car (like that would keep her from evil or something) and all of a sudden the guys in the car pulled out an MP5 and began waving it around while shooting it!! Rory felt a sudden blast of pain in her shoulder and then again in her stomach as she tried to protect Lori.....the drivers finally drove past and Rory slunk to the ground, defeated. Lori looked at her mother who was laying on the ground, limp.  
  
Rory, though not fully in body, had sudden flashbacks of Dean beating her and she inwardly flinched just thinking about it. Then she fainted out of mind and body from the excruciating pain. Lori shook her mother trying to get her to wake up."Mommy! Mommy!! WAKE UP!!" But she didn't move. Lori freaked out even though she didn't know exactly what was going on she knew it couldn't be good. She began to run back the way they came hoping to find someone that could explain what was happening to her mommy. Then as she was running she bumped into someone who had a familiar face.....  
  
Jess looked at this child's tear streaken face."Don't I know you??" And as soon as he saw her, he remembered who it was. It was Lori. 


	4. Learning the Truth

A/N: yay! It's finally here! The fourth chapter!! Sorry it took so long, the chapt. Got deleted and so I had to recreate it! I hope you enjoy!  
  
Jess and Lori followed Rory into the hospital but were stopped by a few nurses and were practically forced to sit down and wait. After about and hour of waiting Lorelai and Luke showed up completely surprised to see Jess Mariano holding their sleeping granddaughter. "Jess?" Luke questioned not entirely sure it could be him.  
  
Jess looked up, his eyes rimmed with red and big circles under them, "hey."  
  
"What did the doctor's say?" Asked Lorelai who was still in shock.  
  
"Nuthing! He hasn't told me anything!" And he hung his head once again as Lorelai and Luke sat down next to him and began to cry. and Jess told them everything that Lori had told him and everything that he had found out from Rory and they were appauled and they began to cry once again and about 2 hours later, the doctor came out of the ER.  
  
"Excuse me...Mr. Mariano?" Jess's head shot up quickly as did everyone else's.  
  
"Yes that's me..."  
  
"Are you the rest of the family?" Lorelai and Luke nodded their heads and the doctor proceeded with the news. "Your daughter is going to need major surgery because she is bleeding internally, so if you could please come with me and give me your consent...." Jess couldn't believe his ears! How could this be happening!!  
  
A/N:I know I know short chapt. The next will be up very very soon so don't fret! Review please! 


	5. Bloody Knuckles

THE BATHROOM  
  
Jess walked in to find that he was alone and he started yelling and screaming and he threw things all over the floor, he looked at himself in the two large mirrors above the sinks. He saw himself, still alive while the love of his life was boardering on death.....if she were to die, she would die thinking he was still angry with her...he couldn't believe that he didn't make it more clear to her that he wasn't! He punched the mirrors where his face reflected and his knuckles began to bleed relentlessly, but he didn't care, he continued yelling at himself. Luke walked in on him and couldn't believe what he saw. Jess turned around. He had blood all over his hands and arms and his shirt and the blood had spattered all over his face and his pants. He looked insane. And he was insane...he was insane with anger and sadness....he had tears in his eyes and he just pushed passed Luke and ran out to God knows where....  
  
WAITING ROOM  
  
Lorelai had seen Jess run out and questioned Luke when he came back. "Luke...why did Jess leave?"  
  
"I don't know...he went crazy in the bathroom....he was crazy....how did Lori take the news...."  
  
"I don't know... She cried herself to sleep...again....i don't really know if she understands what's goin on or not...." Then they heard someone come up to them....it was the doctor...  
  
"Hi...um......i have some bad news....." Lorelai and Luke stood up awaiting the worst. "Rory slipped into a coma about 10 minutes ago.....i am so sorry...but you can go in and see her now...it is very possible that she can hear you....please go in one at a time....at the most two...but uhh just follow me...." His voice was quite and soothing...but it didn't help the pain that Lorelai and Luke were feeling....Lorelai went in first leaving the sleeping Lori with Luke.  
  
RORY'S ROOM  
  
she walked in...Rory was pale and thin....thinner than usual....  
  
"Hey hun...we drove over here from The Hollow today..." She laughed at her attempt to make a joke trying to keep her mood light.... "Lane said that she'd come over pretty soon....she misses you....just like the rest of us....Jess told us about....about what Dean did to you...hunny i'm sooo sorry. I wish you would have said something....we could have done something for you.....uhh....we called the police....they uhh.....they arrested Dean and put him in jail for assault...ya know...wife beating......that kid....he fooled a lot of peopl huh? He made you keep secrets from me.....i hate him more than I ever hated...well..more than I ever hated Jess....hahahaa....Jess has turned into quite the young man hasn't he? Well you probably were too mad at him to even notice right? Hahahaa.....well...he's sorry....for what he did...leaving you like that....he told me....i like him a lot better now that he's changed...made a life for himself.....hun...he loves you..it's so obvious....just..give him another chance....and i'm sure he'll take it.....but...uhhh....oh hey Lori's awake...i guess i'll let Luke and Lori come in now...." She motioned for Luke to come in and Lorelai stood outside and watched them.  
  
"Hey Ror...uhhh....how are ya....wow that was a stupid question..."  
  
"MOMMY!! Mommy? Hey Mommy?" Lori walked over to her mom and poked her shoulder, but Rory didn't move. "Mommy? Bo Bo why isn't mommy talking to me?"  
  
Luke held back his tears as he thought that this precious little girl may never get to speak to her mother again....he'd been through that kind of pain but she was only 5...she wouldn't understand..... "She's really tired Lori...can I talk to your mommy alone for a sec?"  
  
"But she's tired!!"  
  
"Please Lor...."  
  
"Otay...." Lori walked out and stood next to her grandmother....  
  
"Hey Ror....i guess I already said that huh?...ror..i'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you when Dean would.....you know...do THAT to you....i'm really not good at this small talk thing....i guess you've already realized that....Ror...we miss you...please come back to us....." Luke stood up slowly and kissed her forehead and walked out to join his wife...Lori tugged at Lorelai's shirt for her to bend down...  
  
"Can I go talk to mommy now??"  
  
"Sure honey...but she won't be able to talk back..."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You can still talk to her...but she won't answer back...cuz she's....sleeping....so....why don't you go on in there and just tell her that you love her...ok?" Lorelai felt terrible...Lori couldn't understand...but she let her go in anyway.  
  
Lori stepped in quietly so she wouldn't wake her mommy up.... "Hi mommy. Guess what! Daddy won't be hurting u anymoe....please wake up soon mommy....i miss u....i wuv you." And with that she jumped up on the bed and fell asleep next to her mommy. Lorelai and Luke just let her sleep a little while never getting enough of the adorable picture of this mother and daughter....then after about and hour of just starring....they decided to go wake up Lori...they picked her up and carried her back out into the waiting room. They knew that they should go home because it had been a long day, so they go in the car and left for a nearby hotel. They still had no idea where Jess could be.....but he was a big boy, he could take care of himself...right?  
  
ONE WEEK LATER  
  
It was 5 o'clock in the morning and Lorelai, Luke and Lori, still not knowing where on earth Jess could be, were waiting in the waiting room as usual as the doctors made their daily rounds checking on each patient. The three half asleep humans heard someone walk up behind them.....it was the doctor...he hadn't approached them in a week.  
  
"Goodmorning!!" He sounded waaayyyy to cheerful for that time in the morning. It annoyed all three of them. "I have good news!! Your daughter is awake!!!" Lorelai and Luke's eyes opened wide hoping it wasn't some kind of dream... "She's a little groggy, but she's doing ok...this situation is looking up!!! Would you like to go visit her?"  
  
"Would we like to go visit her?" Lorelai mocked "Are you kidding!! Of course!!!" The doctor led them into the long hallway, and luke cringed as he saw all the patients...he hated hospitals....the doctor told them that only one at a time could go in.  
  
RORY'S ROOM  
  
Lorelai went first........"Honey?"  
  
"Mom?" Rory looked over in her mother's direction.  
  
"Hey sweets...how are you?"  
  
"I feel like.......crap....how's Lori....is she ok?" Lorelai could tell it was very difficult for Rory to talk.  
  
"She's fine...."  
  
"Good...how did I get here...Lori doesn't know how to use my phone...."  
  
"Uhhh...well Lori ran to find help...and she bumped into.....uhh....Jess...."  
  
"Jess?" Her breath caught in her throat....  
  
"Yeah....but uhhh....he uhh..."  
  
"He....what?"  
  
"He left...I mean...he was really upset...."  
  
"I want to talk to him mom...i have to tell him what happened..." Rory began to cry remembering the way she treated him...... "Please find him...."  
  
"Uhh...ok...i can do that....let me send Luke in....ok...and i'll go find Jess..."  
  
"Mk..." She sounded so incredibly weak it made Lorelai cringe as she stepped out of the room... "Lukey it's your turn...i'm going to find Jess...take Lori in with you...she's small they won't see her..."  
  
Luke and Lori walked in and Lori finally woke up. "Mommy!! How are you?"  
  
"I'm good sweetie....happy birthday hunny..."  
  
"Oh yeah it is my birtday today in't it..."  
  
"Yep! How old are ya!?!" Even though Rory already knew she wanted to know if Lori could tell her.  
  
"5 yeaws old." She said proudly, holding up 5 fingers.  
  
"Very good sweetie." Said Luke, joining in.  
  
"Hey Luke...."  
  
"Hey Ror...how are you....really...."  
  
"Umm...i'm in a little bit of pain....but it's not too bad ya know..."  
  
WASHINGTON SQUARE PARK  
  
Lorelai had remembered him telling Rory one time that he loved Washington Square Park...so that's where she looked first. And she was right....there he was sitting on a bench... "Hey Jess..."  
  
Jess looked up startled.... "Hey..." He still had blood all over him and his knuckles were swollen.  
  
"Jess where have you been...and why do you look like you haven't showered in days...." She gaped at his greesed, bloody body.  
  
"That would be because I haven't." He said bluntly with a twinge of his trademark sarcasm.  
  
"Well...ok...uhh....i have some news...." Jess cringed knowing it had to bad for LORELAI of all people to come looking for him...., "she's awake....and...she wants to see you..." Jess's head shot up not believeing what he just heard....  
  
"I thought the doctor's said she wasn't doing good..."  
  
"Well....she isn't....but...she's awake right now....and she wants to see you....so let's get you cleaned up and let's get you over there....how bout it...." She tried to sound as cheerful as possible....  
  
"Uhhh...." 


	6. Time Well Spent

A/N: here's the next chapt.!! Hope you enjoy!  
  
RORY'S ROOM  
  
"Hey guys look who's here..." She pointed to the now cleaned up Jess.  
  
"MR. MAWIANO!!!" Yelled Lori as she ran to hug him. He picked her up and put her on his hip. But Lorelai took her and motioned for Luke to leave so that Rory and Jess could be alone...  
  
Jess just stared at her....and she at him....."hi...."  
  
"Hey....I just wanted to thank you Jess...for calling an ambulance..."  
  
"Oh...uhhh...of course....it wasn't hard you know just picking it up out of your purse and dialing the numbers and then you know tellin the people that you had been shot twice and that you had fainted...." Rory looked at Jess rather amused at how much he was rambling....he NEVER rambled...he must have been really nervous. But he continued.... "So uhh....how...how are you......cuz if you aren't good...i can leave ya know no problem!" Jess asked backing up to the door...  
  
"No......Jess.....i need to ask you something..."  
  
"Anything..."  
  
"Ok...Jess....could you uhhh...if anything were to happen to me....." Jess looked at her with fear and pain in his eyes... "Would you take Lori and take care of her for me...."Jess was stunned...he loved Lori...but he barely knew the kid..... "Lori and I talked about it...and I asked her if she would like to have you as a ya know 'daddy' in her life and...and she said yes.....she loves you....it's weird....you two don't know each other very well..."  
  
"Yeah...i know..." There was a period of silence and then he spoke again... "Uhh.....Rory.....?"  
  
"Yeah...."  
  
"I will take care of your daughter.....even though I know nothing is going to happen to you....."  
  
"Thank you so much Jess....you have no idea what it means to me.....but Jess...I need to talk to you.....about...that night......" Jess just stood there and she motioned for him to sit and he did....she wanted to explain...and now he had the chance to actually listen...he never thought that he would be able to tell her how sorry he was for the way he had acted....but he knew everything except what had happened that night.....that horrifying night that he left....and she told him.....and by the end of her story....he was mortified.....he saw her flinch and wince all throughout her story as she remembered the way Dean had treated her.....he couldn't believe that someone could hurt this precious being...  
  
"WHAT! I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!!!!!" He got up to leave but she put her hand on his arm to stop him.  
  
"Jess...don't....I already told the doctors everything and they are going to notify the police and get him arrested...ok?" He paused and then slowly nodded and then she finished the story and by that time she was holding his hand. She looked down and saw the swollen, bloody knuckles...."What happened?" She asked guesturing towards his hands.  
  
"Oh..it was nothing....i was just....a little upset a while back....it's no biggie...."  
  
"Do they hurt...?" She began to sound even weaker than before...Jess began to get a little worried....  
  
"No...not much..." And just as he was about to tell her how sorry he was for the way he had treated her and the way he had left her and.....her heart moniter made a somewhat loud beeping noise...Jess stood up and looked at it...HER HEART HAD STOPPED!!!!! Jess ran to the door. He didn't see ANYONE! He ran around yelling at the top of his lungs for help!! Finally after what seemed like 10 minutes (it was really only 10 sec.) Jess found a nurse and began yelling and she got a doctor right away. The doctor wheeled her off into surgery knowing what the problem was.....she was bleeding internally....again....  
  
Jess couldn't believe what was happening!! He didn't understand!!!! Why was this happening!!! Lorelai and Luke had heard some insane maniac yelling for help and thought it sounded like Jess so they ran to see what was going on....it WAS Jess.....they ran up to him and began throwing questions at him. "What happened! Is she gonna be ok!? Did the doctor say anything to you at all!!"  
  
" STOP IT!! JUST STOP IT!!! I DON'T KNOW OK!!!!!!!!!!" Jess was on the verge of tears..... "Stop it....." he began crying just then realizing that he didn't get to tell her how sorry he was....  
  
ONE HOUR LATER  
  
"Excuse me...Mr. And Mrs. Danes...your daughter....well...the good thing is- "  
  
"Good thing!! How could there be a good thing!!!!" Yelled a very upset and impatient Jess.  
  
"The good thing is..." The doctor continued, "is that she's still alive....." Everyone's eyes got larger... "But....she fell back into a coma....i'm sorry....there's no more I can do....we'll just have to sit and wait....." Everyone's faces fell at the sound of these words comming out of the doctor's mouth....  
  
3 and ½ MONTHS LATER  
  
Jess had taken in Lori while Rory was in the hospital....and they became very very close. Lorelai, Luke, Jess, and Lori had all moved back to Stars Hollow coming to New York whenever they could to see Rory...which was almost all the time....one night Lori came into Jess's room and felt around for Jess's sleeping body.  
  
" Are wu still awake?"  
  
At the sound of Lori's voice, Jess Mariano quickly sat up. "Yeah I'm  
up...can I get you  
somethin?" He was still half asleep obviously.  
  
"I can't sweep" The 5 year old whinned.  
  
"Oh ok...come over here and lay down and tell me what's up..."  
  
She came over and layed down beside him...but as soon as she layed down  
she fell fast asleep causing Jess to smile at her. He admired her  
features. "She looks so much like..... Stop it Mariano...just stop  
it...." But he couldn't help it...a dam of memories broke, flooding into  
his mind......he remembered the first time that he met Rory.He couldn't  
believe the beauty his eyes had be-fallen upon. He knew he was in love  
with her right then.  
  
* * *  
  
"hey!"  
  
"hey.."  
  
"i'm rory."  
  
"yeah i figured"  
  
"nice to meet you."  
  
"Wow aren't we hooked on phonics."  
  
" yeah I read alot. do you read?"  
  
"not much."  
  
"ya know I could loan ya that. it's really good."  
  
"no thanks."  
  
* * *  
  
"you bought a copy?? I told you I'd lend you mine!"  
  
"It is yours."  
  
"you stole my book...."  
  
"no. borrowed it..."  
  
"ok that's not called a trick that's a feliny."  
  
"I just wanted to put some notes in the margins for ya."  
  
"you've read this before..."  
  
"about 40 times...."  
  
"I thought you said you didn't read much..."  
  
"Well...what is 'much'?  
* * *  
"Are you still with dean?.....come on Rory Yes or No are you still with  
dean!"  
"Yes! I'm still with Dean, Yes."  
"Glad to hear it."  
"Glad to tell ya."  
"See ya around."  
"Whatever."  
  
* * *  
"He was right about......all of it......"  
  
"So....what now...??"  
  
" are you definitely broken up with Dean?"  
  
"Yeah I'm definitely broken up with Dean...."  
  
"Ok...there's something I got to take care of then...."  
  
* * *  
Jess couldn't help but think how badly he must have hurt Rory the night  
that he just left her. What was he thinking....yeah...she had hurt  
him....but...that was no reason to leave her.... They could have worked  
it out....." you should have let her give you and explanation!!! You're  
such an  
  
idiot!" Jess realized he was talking outloud and Lori was sound asleep  
next to him, he decided to go take a walk. He got up, got dressed, and  
walked out the door.....and of course...his feet lead him straight to the  
bridge,the Stars Hollow bridge where he and Rory used to spend their  
  
afternoons and evenings together. He had overreacted and he knew it....he  
wanted to kill himself.....if only this bridge stood a little higher from  
the ground....he could just........... jump.......and end his  
misery......but....alas he thought of Lori.....he couldn't just leave  
her....abandon her..... " Lori mimicks her mother's appearance to a  
perfect point!! Was she here just to torment me?!? To be my reminder  
every single day of what I had done!!!!????!!!!! A mini Rory!!??!!" Jess  
found himself yelling and screaming at the top of his lungs and then he  
fell  
  
to his knees pleading with God to let the love of his life come out of  
this terrible coma she was put in. Luke, just like most of the town,  
heard Jess and went to him telling his wife Lorelai, who could sleep  
through a hurricane, where he was going......"Jess?...Jess? Is that you?"  
Luke asked into the dark only hearing whimpering...then he saw a dark  
figure who's shoulder's were shaking  
  
violently. "Jess...." As soon as he said his name this last time Jess got  
up and ran to Luke and just hugged him crying his heart out. Jess didn't  
cry much...but this had been building up inside of him for so long....he  
just....couldn't keep it in any longer. Luke comforted his nephew. He had  
been angry with him for hurting Rory but then he saw how sorry Jess was  
and just could't be angry with him anymore. After about 20 minutes of  
crying Jess stepped out of Luke's arms and Jess just looked at him.  
Jess's face was read and his eyes were puffy, tears were dancing in his  
eyes willing themselves to fall. And then Jess spoke with a shaky  
voice."Luke...why do memories have to hurt so much?? I loved her  
luke....I LOVE her...." And Jess continued to cry and Luke pulled him  
back into a hug and Jess just cried into his shoulder once again. (A/N:  
you notice that this is the first chapter all over again right?  
Sorry...it just made sense...)  
  
A/N:The sooner you review the sooner I put up the next chapt!!! Love you  
guys!!! 


	7. Stunned Speachless

A/N: yeah I know I just updated but I decided to go ahead with the next  
chapter...I was bored.  
  
2 WEEKS LATER  
  
"Hi...uhh...excuse me....where's the girl that is suppose to be in this  
room....Rory Gilmore.....?" Jess asked as Lori stood by his side with her  
hand in his.  
  
"I'm sorry sir, Ms. Gilmore died not too long ago....we hadn't had a  
chance to inform any of her relatives yet....sir?" Jess was in total  
shock. He couldn't believe what he had just heard......Rory was  
dead....she was gone.....dead....dead.....dead....these words just kept  
repeating over and over in his head. They wouldn't stop....Lori looked at  
Jess for sort of a translation....she didn't understand what was going  
on.... "Sir...are you alright....i'm sorry we didn't call you  
sooner...we're just really busy...sir?" Jess's head finally slowly lifted  
from the ground. "Are you alright?" Jess couldn't get the words to come  
out of his mouth. He was frozen...but he then remembered Lori and how he  
had to explain to her....even though he just wanted to be alone....he  
couldn't just leave her in the dark like that.....  
  
"Could you excuse me and Lori here.....thanks..." Jess said as the nurse  
walked off feeling so sorry for this young man... "Hey Lor?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"We need to talk....."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"We need to talk about mommy....."  
  
"What about her..."  
  
"Hunny....she...." He paused not knowing how to tell a 5 year old that  
she would never see her mother again.....never speak to her again...never  
hug her or kiss her again...Jess was depressing himself....he had to tell  
Lori...she had a right to know....he looked down at Lori's expecting  
eyes.... "Lor...."  
  
"Where's mommy!! You promised we could see mommy today!!"  
  
"Lor.....mommy's not comming back...."  
  
"What?" She had no idea what he was talking about.....  
  
"Mommy.....she....she died.....your not going to get to see her  
again....." Jess tried to explain this as easily as he could but.....Lori  
still looked lost.....  
  
"Mommy.....isn't here anymore?"  
  
"No she's not...." He thought she understood....  
  
"Where is she? Did they put her in anuter room?"  
  
THE NEXT DAY  
  
Today was the day of the funeral. Lorelai could barely get herself up to  
get ready and Luke walked around in a daze the whole entire morning.  
  
"Lukey...."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"They're gonna bury my baby today...." She said beginning to cry.  
  
"I know....I know...." Luke had now snapped out of his daze and sat down  
on the bed to comfort his wife.  
  
~~~****~~~  
  
"Jessey!!! Are you up yet??" Jess couldn't believe how chipper she  
was....she really couldn't have understood where they were going today.  
He couldn't seem to drag himself out of bed. He thought that if he stayed  
in bed that this day would never come....the day he would have to say  
goodbye to Rory forever....  
  
"Workin on it!" Jess yelled down the stairs to Lori who was up and  
attempting to make Jess breakfast...but wasn't succeeding...Jess came  
down the stairs and saw what she was doing...."Whoa, Squirt! Let's not  
let you cook anymore ok...." Jess said as he took all the supplies she  
had gathered up in his arms. "You go put on that dress that Grammy picked  
out for you and I'll make you breakfast...how does that sound?"  
  
"Like a plan."  
  
"Good." So he made breakfast and he ate...but he wasn't very hungry so he  
just kind of picked at his food....Lori soon came out with her dress  
on....it was kinda crooked....so Jess tried to fix it...it wasn't much  
better...but it would do. He went upstairs while she ate and put on his  
black suit. He came downstairs, gathered up Lori in his arms and just  
looked at her. "You know.....you look exactly like your mother...."  
  
"Tanks!" After that they got into the car and drove to the cemetery...  
  
THE CEMETERY  
  
Lying in my bed I hear  
  
A clock tick and think of you  
  
Caught up in circles  
  
confusion is nothing new  
  
Flashback, warm nights  
  
Almost left behind  
  
Suitcase and memories  
  
time after  
  
Sometimes you picture me,  
  
i'm walking to far ahead  
  
Your calling to me  
  
I can't hear what you have said  
  
And you say 'go slower' I fall behind  
  
The second hand unwinds.  
  
Everyone in Stars Hollow cried there eyes out even Luke....but Jess  
didn't.....he told himself to be strong for Lori....every tear that  
threatened to fall, he held it back.  
  
If you're lost you can look and you will find me.  
  
Time after time.  
  
If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting  
  
Time after time.  
  
If you fall I will catch you, I will be waiting  
  
Time after time. Time after time.  
  
After the beautiful, but short ceremony, Everyone left except for  
Lorelai, Luke, Jess, and Lori.....Luke told Lorelai that maybe they  
should leave Jess and Lori alone with Rory for a little bit....they  
agreed and walked off....  
  
"Jess.....can we go visit mommy in de hospital now?"  
  
"No...."  
  
"Why?"  
  
He bent down next to her and took her by the hands.... "Because.....she's  
not here....with us anymore...."  
  
She paused, trying to process what Jess just told her... "Well....when is  
she comming back?"  
  
"She's not comming back Lori..."  
  
"Ever?"  
  
".....ever....." Jess somewhat admitted this to himself just as well as  
to her. Lori finally understood what was happening.....her mommy was gone  
forever....she was NEVER comming back....Lori put her arms around Jess's  
neck and buried her face into his shoulder and for they first time, they  
cried.....  
  
After my picture fades  
  
and darkness has turned to grey  
  
Watching through windows, you're wondering if I'm ok.  
  
And you say 'go slow' I fall behind  
  
The drum beats out of time.  
  
If you're lost you can look and you will find me.  
  
Time after time.  
  
If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting  
  
Time after time.  
  
If you fall I will catch you, I will be waiting  
  
Time after time. Time after time. Time after time. Time after time. Time  
after time.  
  
A/N: Lyrics: Time after Time by Blaque I know sad chapter....but stay  
with me!! Don't zone yet!! IT'S NOT OVER!!! There's a couple more  
chapters and they ARE worth reading!!! Well at least I think they are!  
But don't give up on me yet!! Review please!! 


	8. If Only He Knew

6 YEARS LATER  
  
Jess has adopted Lori for his own daughter, just as he promised Rory that  
he would. They live in Stars Hollow because that is the one place that  
truly felt like home to him.  
  
"Most people don't usually understand the pain that I went through and  
still go through today. Most people think that I'm a heartless punk who  
doesn't have a clue about loss....but i'm here today to tell you that the  
people that think that, are very very wrong about me. Loss is something  
i've had to deal with since I was 4. It you asked some of my old friends,  
they would tell you that it just comes naturally to me, and yet again,  
they would be wrong. Loss doesn't come naturally to anyone. No one can  
just tell themselves to deal with it and truly JUST deal with it. It just  
can't happen.  
  
My Life first began when I met Rory Gilmore......" Jess was writing in  
one of his notebooks when a voice echoed through the house.  
  
"Daddy?!? I'm home!!! I found this great book today!! It's called I Still  
Love You the Girl From Mars!!!" Yelled a now 11 year old Lori Mariano  
through the house searching for her father.  
  
Jess came out of his room. "Really....." A small smile played aross his  
lips as he remembered the very well known book and author.  
  
"What are you smirking at?"  
  
"Oh...nothing..." Jess replied still smirking.  
  
"Fine! Keep your secrets.....have you ever heard of D.J.D.? He seems to  
be a pretty popular author now. The lady at the bookstore told me that  
this book has been out for awhile but is just now becoming popular! Isn't  
that weird??" Jess smiled as he saw the resemblence in the way Lori and  
Rory would always ramble.  
  
"Yeah...it is weird isn't it...no i've never heard of him before....of  
course for all we know it could be a her right??" Jess asked as he walked  
over to Lori and gave her a huge hug welcoming her home from school.  
  
"Yeah..." She started to giggle.  
  
"Well i've got to finish up something so just get yourself a snack and  
watch some T.V. Or something..."  
  
"Are you kidding!! I have to go read this book!! I left off at this great  
part!! The two main characters were about to get together!!!....at least  
I think they were....but anyway it's so exciting!! I wish stuff like that  
could happen in real life!!"  
  
"Yeah....me too...." Jess stepped back into his bedroom where he had been  
writing earlier and looked at his bookshelf. He pulled out a old worn  
down notebook. It's pages were torn and the ink was somewhat faded. He  
opened it and read, I Still Love You the Girl From Mars. He smiled  
remembering 7 years ago when he wrote it. He had no idea what to put for  
the author... "What if she reads it? And then sees my name for the  
author....?" He had asked himself. So instead of putting his real name.  
He made up a pen name. D.J.D. ,Dodger Jess Danes. He knew no one could  
really trace that pen name back to him.....he didn't even think that Rory  
would trace it back to him....but he knew she had never read it. She  
couldn't have.....  
  
If only he knew she had.  
  
A/N: Hey I hope you like it! Review please!! 


	9. Lori's Wedding Day

A/N: BEWARE!! This chapter is depressing!! But read it anyways! thanks!  
10 YEARS LATER  
  
da da da da da  
  
I'm tugging at my hair  
  
I'm pulling at my clothes  
  
I'm trying to keep my cool  
  
I know it shows  
  
I'm staring at my feet  
  
My cheeks are turning red  
  
I'm searching for the words inside my head  
  
'Coz I'm feeling nervous  
  
Trying to be so perfect  
  
'Coz I know you're worth it...you're worth it...yeah  
  
"Hey sweetie."  
  
"Hey daddy..."  
  
"You look beautiful...."  
  
"Thank you daddy..."  
  
"Just call me when you're ready ok?"  
  
"Ok." He walked out of her dressing room.  
  
"Hey Jess..."  
  
"Luke, Lorelai..."  
  
"Lukey i'm goin to get me somethin to drink, you want anything?"  
  
"Nah I'm good." She walked off.  
  
"So..."  
  
"So..."  
  
"Are you gonna be able to do this, Jess?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean...after loosing Rory....are you gonna be able to give the other  
most important thing in your life away?" Jess had tears in his eyes.  
  
"I don't know Luke...but....who am I to judge the man that my baby girl  
marries? He may not be exactly what Rory would have wanted...but I think  
she would have understood why she picked him..." It was obvious that Lori  
had the same choice in guys as her mother. This man, Josh, was just like  
Jess was at their age...he was one of them bad boys that nobody  
likes....that is except Rory and Lori....  
  
"Daddy?"  
  
"Yeah baby, I'm right here." He walked back into her dressing room.  
  
"Tell me about my mom....just one more time...." He smiled at her and  
began one of the stories of their 'chidhood' and finished: "She was an  
amazing woman....just like yourself...." And he told her a story about  
the day they first told each other that they loved each other  
  
"Thank you daddy, I love you." She hugged him and he squeezed her as  
tight yet as gentle as possible. He backed away and just looked at her.  
  
****  
  
"Hey daddy?"  
  
"Yeah hunny."  
  
"Am I pretty?"  
  
"Oh hunny of course you are..."  
  
"Then why can't I get a boyfriend?"  
  
"Hey come here." She sat down on his bed. "Your mother didn't have a  
boyfried until she was 16...so don't you worry about that ok?"  
  
"Ok...hey dad?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I miss her..." She ran back to her father and squeezed his neck and they  
both began crying.  
  
"I know sweetie I know..."  
  
****  
  
"Daddy?" The sound of her voice made him snap out of whatever spell he  
had been put under.  
  
"I love you too."  
  
"I'm ready to go..."  
  
"oh...ok then...let's go...." He took her by the arm and led her out the  
door. The bridesmaids went down the aisle after the flowergirl and Jess  
took Lori to the doorway.  
  
If I could say what I want to say  
  
I'd say I want to blow you away  
  
Be with you every night  
  
Am I squeezing you too tight?  
  
If I could say what I want to see  
  
I want to see you go down on one knee...  
  
Marry me today!  
  
Guess I'm wishing my life away...  
  
With these things I'll never say  
  
He led her down the aisle and the pastor approached them.  
  
"Mr. Mariano, who gives this woman to this man." Jess took a deep breath  
trying to keep himself from crying.  
  
What's wrong?  
  
With my song?  
  
These words keep slippin' away...  
  
I stutter...I stumble  
  
Like I've got nothin' to sa-ay...  
  
'Coz I'm feelin' nervous  
  
Tryin' to be so perfect  
  
'Coz I know you're worth it...you're worth it...yeah  
  
Da da da da da da da da da...  
  
Da da da da da da da da da...  
  
"Her MOTHER and I."  
  
LATER THAT DAY AT JESS'S HOUSE AFTER THE WEDDING  
  
Jess walks in the front door and stares at his now competely empty house.  
  
I'm so tired of being here.  
  
Supressed by all my childish fears.  
  
If you have to leave I wish that you would just leave.  
  
Cuz your presence still lingers here, and it won't leave me alone.  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal.  
  
This pain is just too real.  
  
There's just too much that time can not erase.  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears.  
  
When you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears.  
  
I held your hand through all of these years.  
  
But you still have, all of me.  
  
Jess now realized that he had no one else in the world. Everyone had left  
him. He was alone. He fell to his knees beating his head on the floor,  
while crying.  
  
You used to captivate me  
  
By your resonating light  
  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind.  
  
Your face it holds, my once plans and dreams.  
  
Your voice it chased all the sanity in me.  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal.  
  
This pain is just too real.  
  
There's just too much that time can not erase.  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears.  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.  
  
I held your hand through all of these years.  
  
You still have, all of me.  
  
He leaned back on his heels and looked up. "WHY DID YOU LEAVE  
ME!!!!!?!!!! WHY?!!!" He kept crying as he put his head back down on the  
floor.  
  
I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone.  
  
But though you're still with me.  
  
I've been alone, all along.  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears.  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.  
  
I held your hand through all of these years.  
  
But you still have, all of me.  
  
As Jess lay in his floor thinking of how lonely he was, he heard someone  
aproaching him. *that's weird...why is there someone in my house?* then  
the person began to speak.  
  
"Hey sweetie! I'm so glad your home! How was your day at the office?"  
  
A/N: CLIFFHANGERS!!! HAHAHAHAHAA!!! Gotta love em!!! Don't fret the next  
chapter will be up soon enough! Please review!!  
Songs: These things I'll Never say by Avril Lavigne and My Immortal by  
Evanescence 


	10. Turning out ok after all

A/N: sorry about not accepting anonymous reviews I thought I had changed  
that but apparently not! Sorry!!! :)  
  
~~~Previously:  
  
As Jess lay in his floor thinking of how lonely he was, he heard someone  
aproaching him. *that's weird...why is there someone in my house?* then  
the person began to speak.  
  
"Hey sweetie! I'm so glad your home! How was your day at the office?"  
  
~~~~~  
  
Jess looked up at a very familiar voice. "Rory?"  
  
"Where's Lori? Has she not come home from school yet?"  
  
"Rory?"  
  
"Jess, hunny what's the matter?" He stood up slowly gaping at her.  
  
"Rory?" As soon as he stood up he fainted and fell back down onto the  
floor. He awoke to a voice calling for him.  
  
"JESS! JESS! COME BACK! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!" He looked up and saw  
everything was pitch black except for this angel in the middle of it all.  
His angel, Rory Gilmore...she had her hand outstretched to him. He tried  
to pick up his arm to grab it but his arm was frozen..it wouldn't move.  
"JESS! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME! I LOVE YOU!" These last words seemed to set  
Jess free. He was able to move his arm. He reached out and grabbed her  
hand and as soon as he did his eyes snapped open.  
  
Jess took in his surroundings.....*where am I?* he looked down at himself  
and realized he was laying in a hospital bed. He looked to his right and  
there was someone laying their head on the bed while holding his hand.  
They appeared to be asleep....the creature stirred in her sleep as Jess  
squeezed her hand. *it can't be....* she looked up and saw he was awake  
and a huge grin appeared across her face.  
  
"JESS!" She hugged his neck and then let go quickly as if she didn't want  
to hurt him or something....  
  
"Uhhh..."  
  
"Jess are you ok?"  
  
"Rory...what's....what's going on??" He looked at her, confusion swarming  
his face.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You're suppose to be....suppose to be....dead...." She jumped back a  
little.  
  
"Dead???!!?? What do you mean dead??"  
  
"I mean you died....from being in that coma...."  
  
"Oh Jess....you must have been dreaming....I WAS in a coma...but I came  
out fine...it took me a little bit to get back to normal but I'm fine  
now...Lori's great...."  
  
"Lori...Rory....?"  
  
"Yes...."  
  
"What happened to ME....why am I in this hospital bed...."  
  
"Ohh...because...see when you came to visit me....you had these cuts and  
things all over you....Luke said something about you hitting the glass in  
the bathroom...the doctor's said that you had been bleeding too much and  
that even after you cleaned them up that they continued to bleed and it  
sent you into a coma....you've been in a coma for about 3 ½ weeks  
now...." Jess sat there stunned....  
  
"I uhh...so you're alive?"  
  
"As far as I know?" She said with a smile.  
  
"So I was dreaming this whole time? About you dying and Lori growing up  
without you and then getting married and then leaving me COMPLETELY  
alone?"  
  
"Uhhh" she was speechless...Jess had been going through this in his mind  
this whole time....no wonder he woke up like that. "Yeah...you did just  
dream it..."  
  
"Whoa....that was the most intense dream that I have EVER had...."  
  
"Sounds like it....so you were really really upset about me dying??"  
  
"Why wouldn't I be??"  
  
"I don't know....you just....you weren't very happy with me the last time  
we talked...."  
  
"Rory...about that....I'm really really sorry...I was an idiot...."  
  
"No Jess...it's ok..." They looked at one another and smiled. They  
realized that maybe everything was going to turn out all right after  
all....  
  
A/N: HAHAHAAA!!! It totally got you guys!! Oh yes!! Go me!! I love weird  
twists like that...anyway! I'm wondering if I should have one more  
chapter....please tell me! Review please!! 


	11. Is that All He Is?

A/N: Hey guys! I'm soo sorry it took me so long to update this story! I  
had some major writer's block! I kind of decided that I wouldn't just  
have one more chapter. Don't ask me why. Well I hope you enjoy this next  
part of the story!  
  
After that Rory and Jess were inseparable. They weren't exactly together,  
neither of them knew the reason, but they were really close just the  
same. Lori was now 6 ½ years old and she was very confused, because she  
didn't know if Jess was her daddy or not. She wanted to ask and everyday,  
she would make up her mind to, but she would get sidetracked or  
interrupted. But one day, she made sure she got to talk to her mom about  
it.  
  
"Hey mom." Lori said walking in to the kitchen. "Is Jess here?"  
  
"No not at the moment...do you want me to call him?" Asked Rory wanting a  
reason to have Jess over.  
  
"Actually no...I was kind of hoping he wasn't here because...I need to  
talk to you..." Rory stopped cooking and walked over to the table and sat  
down, motioning for her daughter to sit.  
  
"So uhh...what's the problem?"  
  
"Well I just...I wanted to...ask you something..."  
  
"Oh ok...shoot."  
  
"Is Jess my daddy?" Rory was speechless...what could she say?  
  
"Ummm...well he...he and I....well we are...me and Jess are...friends."  
  
"But why do you hang out with him all the time?"  
  
"Because we're friends...and he's not just hanging out with me, he's  
hanging out with you too."  
  
"But why do you hug him every time he leaves the house or whenever he  
leaves us period?"  
  
"....because he's my friend...."  
  
"Is that all he is?"  
  
"Ok since when do the guys I hang out with become your business?"  
  
"Since the guys you hang out with could be my father someday. Being more  
specific: Jess Mariano." After saying this, she walked away leaving her  
mother to her own thoughts. *how could she know all this? She's just a  
kid....she's pretty smart.* Rory thought.  
  
THE NEXT DAY  
  
"And then she was like 'is that all he is?' And I'm thinkin 'what?!'"  
Rory and Jess began laughing.  
  
"So Rory, Can I ask you something?"  
  
"Yeah sure." She replied still kind of laughing from earlier.  
  
"Is that all I am to you?" Rory immediately stopped laughing and tried to  
keep herself from falling out of her chair.  
  
"I...uhh...."  
  
A/N: yeah I know it's kinda short and it's a cliffhanger, but I don't  
have much more time to write anymore! But I will update ASAP! Review  
please! 


	12. Just Keeps Dreamin

"I...uhh....well I....I thought we decided on being best friends...." She  
replied, while smiling weakly at him.  
  
"Yeah...we did..." His face was emotionless. He stared back down at his  
food and they ate in silence until Lori came bounding into Luke's wearing  
the biggest grin on her face. Jess continued to stare at his half-eaten  
burger, lost in his thoughts.  
  
"Mommy! Mommy!" Rory looked up into her daughter's big blue eyes.  
  
"What are you so happy about?"  
  
"I met the coolest kid today!! Can I have him over tonight?" Lori was  
just too excited for Rory to say no exspecially since Lori hadn't had a  
real friend since Rory and Jess came back from the hospital.  
  
"Sure!-Wait...HIM?"  
  
"Yeah! His name is Josh and he loves to read! Even more than me!! So can  
I have him over? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!" Jess was now paying attention.  
"What did you say that kid's name was?" Lori looked at him as if she was  
just now noticing him.  
  
"Josh."  
  
"Josh what?"  
  
"Josh Waters." She replied, still smiling.  
  
"Jess...what's wrong?" Asked Rory noticing his expression.  
  
"No...I uhh..this can't be right...." He closed his eyes having  
flashbacks of his, what seemed, never ending dream when he was in that  
coma a year and ½ ago.  
  
"Jess?" Lori put her hand on Jess's arm and his eyes snapped open.  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"I have to go.." He got up and practically ran out of Luke's. Lori looked  
at her mother with confusion written all over her face.  
  
"Mom, what's wrong with him? How can he not like Josh!?! He doesn't even  
know him!!!" Lori wanted Jess's approval for anything and everything and  
the one person she REALLY wanted his approval on, he already had decided  
that he didn't like him. Lori started getting mad. "FINE! If he doesn't  
want to meet Josh...FINE!!!" She ran out the door and towards their  
house, crying.  
  
Rory got up as well and went in search of Jess. She knew how much Lori  
wanted Jess's approval of her friends....She decided to start looking at  
the bridge...and that's where she found him. His head was in his hands as  
he sat with his feet dangling over the still water. Rory began to  
approach him and she sat down. "What's going on with you, Jess? I just  
don't get it...I mean you totally flipped out." She spoke slowly and  
quietly not wanting to make him more upset than he already was.  
  
"I'm sorry....I just...it's real, Rory."  
  
"What?"  
  
"My dream during the coma...it comming true..."  
  
"Jess.....that doesn't make sense! I'm still alive!! In your dream, I was  
dead..." He stared at her and it was then she understood...maybe she was  
going to die soon...  
  
"That kid...Josh...She marries him..."  
  
"I don't know what to say....are you sure?"  
  
"YES!!! Rory! I don't know what life I'm living in! Am I still in a coma?  
Am I still dreaming? I DON'T KNOW!!!"  
  
"Jess...wake up..." Jess opened his eyes and looked up into Rory's eyes.  
"Hey...you ok?" He breathed a heavy sigh, realizing he was only dreaming.  
He looked at his surroundings. He was on Rory's couch and he was  
shirtless...much to Rory's pleasure.  
  
"Huh? Oh yeah..I'm fine.....I think..."  
  
"Ok..."  
  
"Where's Lori?"  
  
"Oh she's still out with Josh." Jess started to panic.  
  
"WHAT!! SHE'S OUT WITH JOSH!!"  
  
"Jess, it's only 11:30 and besides she's 17 and-"  
  
"She's 17!?!"  
  
"Yes....wow you really need to go back to sleep...."  
  
"Are her and Josh dating?!!??"  
  
"What? Are you kidding?"  
  
"No...are they dating?"  
  
"Oh yeah that'll be the day!"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Josh and Lori have been best friends since they were kids! They will  
NEVER date! Lori's got the perfect boyfriend anyways! Ya  
know...Ryan...he's such a great kid....and besides....you knew all  
this..." Just as Jess was about to answer, Lori and Josh walked in.  
  
"Hey mom!...hey Jess!" Said Lori as she walked to her room.  
  
"Rory....Jess..." Said Josh as he followed Lori into her room.  
  
"Rory...they can't...why...they can't be alone...in her room!!!"  
  
"Jess, relax! It's Josh! What's your deal..." Jess tried to think up  
something intelligent that would make sense of his insanity.  
  
"I uhh..I guess it's the coma thing..ya know.."  
  
"Well ok...but that was a long long time ago, Jess..I thought you would  
be over it by now..oh well..goodnight." She came and kissed the top of  
his head and walked upstairs to her bedroom. Once Jess was sure that she  
was out of sight, he got up and peeked into Lori's room.  
  
"So what's the deal with Jess anyways?" Asked Josh without looking up  
from the book he was reading.  
  
"Oh I don't know...they never talk about their 'love life' way back when  
they were younger and so I just never asked. They're just best friends."  
  
"Is that it?"  
  
"Yes...I think...I don't know.... So what did you think about that book I  
lent you?" Josh looked up from his book and smiled.  
  
"It was great." They smiled at each other and then looked down, just then  
Jess saw Josh look up over his book, sneeking a glance at Lori.... It  
reminded Jess of him and Rory back before they started dating. He would  
always sneek glances at her while she was reading.... 


	13. Is that all you do?

A/N :Yes, I knew you guys would be confused, but let me clarify before you go jumping down my throat... Because of Jess's coma, he keeps having weird dreams and it actually has been 12 years since the coma. he just had a dream about an event that happened earlier on in his life like right after the coma, but then when he wakes up from his dream, he's totally confused....but then it all starts commin together at the end of the chapter. If you have any questions, email me at ringfreak14@hotmail.com and I'll explain the best I can. Okie dokie? I'm sorry I confused you guys! Please forgive me!!  
  
On with the story!  
  
The next morning, everything went back to normal. Jess came back to normal reality and had explained everything to Rory...she was a little concerned that he was still having dreams, but the doctor's had said he was fine and she decided not to doubt the doctor's diagnosis....if you could even call that a diagnosis.  
  
Rory started to notice that Josh and Lori were hanging out more and more and Lori's boyfriend, Ryan, was seen less and less. A couple weeks later, Lori told Jess and Rory that her and Ryan had broken up because he was being possessive....this was starting to seem all too familiar to Jess and Rory.  
  
"Hey mom, Josh is comming over to read-"  
  
"Are you sure that's ALL you guys do in there?" Jess teased. To his surprise, Lori turned a bright shade of red and ran into her bedroom, crying. "What did I say?"  
  
"I don't know...we've always teased her about her and Josh...I'll be back." Rory walked into her daughter's room and saw her with her head buried into her pillow. "Hey sweetie...what's wrong?" Lori buried her head even deeper into her pillow...if that was even possible... "Lor, hun, please talk to me..."  
  
"There's nothing wrong..."  
  
"I think that's a load of bull. Tell me the real truth or I'm gonna start acting like Dr. Phil again!" Lori looked up and smiled weakly at her mother and then the smile faded.  
  
"I can't tell you!" Her head dove back into the pillow.  
  
"Lori...what's going on! You have to tell me! You're really starting to worry me!" She lifted her head up once again.  
  
"I...I'm starting to feel different about Josh...."  
  
"Like a bad kind of different?"  
  
"It depends on how you look at it..." She sniffled.  
  
"Ok...how are YOU looking at it?"  
  
"I don't know, mom..."  
  
"How are you feeling about him? Are you mad at him?"  
  
"No...not at all....I...think I like him....more than like like." She dove back into the pillow. Rory smiled as she remembered herself at this age, admitting to herself that she liked Jess more than a friend....  
  
"Hun, that's a good thing...Me and Jess always expected it...you should go for it! Tell Josh you like him...trust me...I wish I had told Je-I mean...I've been in this situation before...and I didn't tell the guy and we weren't together for very long...so...just tell him..." Rory got up and walked out of the room as Lori contemplated on what to do.....Rory kept thinking about her and Jess...and there he was, sitting in her house, at her table...and she couldn't kiss him and hold him like she wanted....what is wrong with this picture?  
  
A/N: please tell me if you're still confused, because I want you guys to understand my stories!! Please review! 


	14. Get Out!

(continues straight from other chapter)  
  
"Rory...Rory...??" Jess's voice snapped Rory out of her thoughts.  
  
"Oh sorry...what?"  
  
"Is she ok?"  
  
"I think so...she's starting to feel a little different about Josh."  
  
"It had to happen someday." He smirked at her.  
  
"Yeah I guess so...she's just scared if you know what I mean."  
  
"Yeah I can understand that. Hey...I need to talk to you..."  
  
"Um ok." He led her into the den and they sat down on the couch.  
  
"Ror...this is very hard for me to say...but I think-" she cut him off with a kiss, hoping that he was going to tell her that he was in love with her....he was in complete shock but finally snapped out of it and responded to her kiss, and there they sat making out on the couch when Lori went to the door to greet Josh.  
  
"Whoa, check out Jess and your mom. Finally gettin together huh?" Whispered Josh.  
  
"I don't know...I never heard anything about it.. I mean look at them, they are obviously oblivious to everything else around them..." She was rambling and Josh knew there was something wrong.  
  
"So...can we go to your room?" Lori looked around nerviously before she finally responded.  
  
"Oh..ok...sure..." They went into her room and she started pacing while Josh took a seat on her bed, skimming through the book that was laying on her bed.  
  
"Tell me." He ordered without looking up at her.  
  
"What?" She stopped and looked at him and then continued pacing.  
  
"There's something wrong. Is it Jess and your mom?" She stopped again.  
  
"Yeah right! I've been waiting for...THAT" she gestured towards the living room, "since I was 5" she started pacing once again. "Nothing's wrong, Josh."  
  
"Bull."  
  
"Josh-" she turned and faced him.  
  
"I know you too well. Just tell me, Lori."  
  
"I uhhh...."  
  
~BACK IN THE DEN~  
  
"Whoa." Said Rory after they had finally stopped.  
  
"Yeah. So uhh...what now?"  
  
"I don't know....are we....together?"  
  
"I think we are...aren't we?"  
  
"Yeah...I think we are." She looked at him and smiled. "I love you." Jess was completely taken back he had thought maybe they were going a little fast but apparently not. He couldn't speak. He finally regained composure.  
  
"Wow that was totally unexpected."  
  
"I know I'm sorry I shouldn't have said it, you know me, I always say things I shouldn't and I hate it when I do that it's just soooo annoying and I know that I don't know why I keep doing it and-" he cut her off with a kiss and after a moment backed away.  
  
"I love you, too." They smiled at one another. "I don't know if anyone's ever told you this, but you talk a lot."  
  
"Ya know, in fact, I don't think anyone's ever told me that." She replied sarcastically. "OH NO!"  
  
"What! What's the matter!!??!"  
  
"Lori!! Her and Josh probably saw us!!"  
  
"Yeah, so, who cares? I mean they were gonna find out sooner or later."  
  
"Yeah, you have a point."  
  
~LORI'S ROOM~Meanwhile-Lori has just told Josh that she has a crush on a guy and she's never had a crush in her life. ~  
  
"You're kidding me...YOU have a CRUSH on a male being..." She looked around nervously.  
  
"Ummm yes...." His heart fell to the pit of his stomach.  
  
"who is it."  
  
"Josh...I already told you about my crush please don't make me continue!!"  
  
"Come on, Lor!!" He threw a pillow at her.  
  
"I said NO and I meant NO!" She threw the pillow back at him. They got into a huge pillow fight and they kept yelling:  
  
"Tell me!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Tell me!!"  
  
"No!!" Rory and Jess heard things banging around in Lori's room, so they went to see what was going on but they heard laughter, so instead they just peeked in to see. When they saw the two kids having a pillow fight, they smiled at each other and went to make dinner...well at least Jess was going to make an ACTUAL dinner.  
  
"Lori, why won't you tell me?" And this time he was serious and Lori was getting pretty annoyed now.  
  
"Stop it, Josh!"  
  
"No! I won't stop asking until you tell me! We're best friends, Lor. We tell each other everything...at least we used to."  
  
"Exactly, Josh! FRIENDS!"  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"I don't want to be friends anymore!! I want...I want you....you're the guy I was talking about." He felt like singing or dancing or something...but he thought it best to keep it in, but that involved staying quiet and that worried Lori. "Say something! I just put my heart out there and you are slowly stomping on it!!!"  
  
"Well I..I'm..I just-"  
  
"Get out!"  
  
"Excuse me!"  
  
"GET OUT!!" She started shoving him out the door and then shoved him straight out the front door. She stormed back into her room and slammed the door, totally ignoring her mother and Jess who were standing there completely confused.  
  
A/N: hey sorry it took so incredibly long to update!! Please forgive me!!! 


	15. More Than Cool

Rory started knocking on her daughter's door. "Lori, open the door, babe." Jess came over to her.  
  
"Let me try."  
  
"You?"  
  
"I'm a guy...I understand the male species." He smiled at her and knocked on the door before going in. "Hey..." She looked up at him, with tears streaming down her face.  
  
"Why are guys jerks?" She asked bitterly.  
  
"Do you think I'm a jerk?"  
  
"Well....no..." She sniffled.  
  
"Look. I don't know what happened in here today...but I want you to know, that if you let Josh slip away from you, if you never forgive him-for whatever he did, you will regret it." She looked at him. "It happened to me once...."  
  
"With mom?"  
  
"Yeah...with your mom."  
  
"I guess...I should go talk to him, huh?"  
  
"Yeah...I think you'll be glad you did later." She got up and headed out the front door and Jess came out of her room.  
  
"What did you say to her? She seemed happier."  
  
"Just gave her some advice."  
  
"You'd make a great father." They kissed passionately.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
Lori stepped out onto the bridge and looked at Josh, who sat in deep thought. "Hi." She squeaked. He stood up quickly.  
  
"Lori...what are you doing here? I thought you were mad at me..."  
  
"I was...frustrated..."  
  
"Obviously....look....you didn't give me a chance to..say...something back to you." Her face perked up. "I wanted to say....that I've been in love with you since the day we met." He kissed her with all the passion he had in him...this was very un-josh like....and Lori liked it. She kissed him back and then they backed away.  
  
"I'm sorry for being such a jerk."  
  
"Eh, it's ok. We're cool..."  
  
"We're MORE than cool."  
  
A/N- Yes it is FINITO!!! I hope you enjoyed it!! Thank you guys for all your reviews!! But just ONE more review from each of you would make my heart smile!! So push the button and thanks again for reading!! 


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